2017 Boulder Badass 100 The Phantom Pain

Welcome to the fourth annual Boulder Bad Ass 100. A run dreamed up by idiots, for idiots.

This route was born as many great ideas are, in the Southern Sun after one too many pitchers of FYIPA. A long and arduous tour of Boulder, taking in the majority of classic trails and routes, culminating with the notorious Boulder Skyline of Green, Bear and South Boulder Peaks. This is a 105 mile loop with 19,000ft of gain.

Following the inaugural running in 2014 it was decided never again to undertake such a feat of stupidity. Unfortunately, you do not pick the Boulder Bad Ass 100. It picks you. And although we had hoped for a swift demise into the bowels of history, it has once again dragged itself back into the calendar.

You can read more about the inaugural running on this blog post, the 2015 edition here and Pete’s undertaking in 2016 here.

This years unlucky souls should know better. Despite witnessing first hand previous years misery, they have decided to accept the BBA100’s invitation and are currently weeping quietly to themselves in anticipation of the forthcoming lunacy.

  • Cordis ‘I should have finished it last year’ Hall
  • Jeff ‘Handshake of Destiny‘ Wanner
  • Julia ‘Will this count as a Sanitas lap?‘ German
  • Dhruv ‘How Hard Can It Be?’ Kedar
  • Dan ‘The Path to Misfortune‘ Harris
  • Neeraj ‘I Shouldn’t Make Bets with Ryan and Nick‘ Engineer

With a starting time of 10pm on Friday 10th November, they will sure to be off to a bad start! This is a bad ass style event where no one cares if you finish or die trying, unless you’re Cordis, in which case you must finish, even if it means crapping your pants like Salvesen, crying like Gisler, or complaining like Rossi. The idiots will aim to stick together and run no more than 7.5 minutes ahead or behind of Cordis at any given moment throughout the weekend. The goal is to survive this thing in time for work on Monday. Their chances are slim.

 

COURSE MAP

Of course there will be no course markings. Know the way. Do not set foot on the same section of trail twice. Route subject to change.

AID STATIONS

There will be 13 full-service aid stations at the following locations. The aid will move with the idiots. If you outrun Cordis or can’t keep up with him, don’t expect the aid station to be ready or wait for you. Here’s a google map with each location pinned.

  1. MILE 7.5: Marshall Mesa TH [Main parking lot (Hwy 93 & Eldorado Springs Dr)]
  2. MILE 14.5: Coalton TH [East side of Marshall loop (McCaslin Road & Coalton Road)]
  3. MILE 20: Greenbelt Plateau TH [East side of Hwy 93 (across from Flatirons Vista TH)]
  4. MILE 28: Rattlesnake Gulch TH [Eldorado State Park gate will likely be closed and require AS to be hiked in]
  5. MILE 36: Walker Ranch TH [Main parking lot (Flagstaff Rd)]
  6. MILE 44: Magnolia Road & Boulder Canyon [Colleen’s House]
  7. MILE 53: Lions Lair & Sunshine Canyon TH [Dirt pulloff off the hairpin turn on Sunshine Canyon Drive & Granite Drive]
  8. MILE 62: Foothills TH [Just off US 36 in North Boulder]
  9. MILE 67: Coot Lake [Opposite Tom Watson Park]
  10. MILE 72: Cottonwood TH [Independence Road north of Hayden Lake]
  11. MILE 77.5: Eben G. Fine Park
  12. MILE 85.5: Chautauqua Parking Lot
  13. MILE 94: South Boulder Peak 

 

SUNRISE, SUNSET, SUNRISE

  • Start @ 10:00 PM Friday, November 10
  • Sunrise, Saturday November 11 @ 6:42 AM
  • Sunset, Saturday November 11 @ 4:48 PM
  • Sunrise, Sunday November 12 @ 6:43 AM
  • Quarter Moon

Like the 2014 & 2015 editions, this year’s BBA will take place after the clocks fall back so the nights will be longer. You’re welcome. Typically, the sun rises somewhere along Walker Ranch and the sun will set upon leaving Coot Lake.

 

FOOD & GEAR NEEDED

We need to gather quite an impressive amount of food and gear and then schlep it around Boulder for these idiots. If you can lend it to us for the weekend, please write your name here and deliver said items to Ryan & Silke’s house by Wednesday, November 8th. And while you’re writing your name, slap it on anything you lend us if you ever want to see it again!

 

FACILITATORS, ENABLERS & ASSES

We will be looking for the usual crew, pacers, back seat drivers, hecklers, internet trolls and all around support in order to see this madness to completion. Our chances are slim but our ambitions are fat. Anyone brave and bored enough is welcome to join the idiots and ASSes for any section of the route and at any aid station. Sign up to either facilitate the idiocy (crew) or enable it (pace) here.

We’re also looking for reliable, organized Aid Station Slaves (ASS) to manage the set up, organization, execution and take down of 13 aid stations. This job requires proficiency in Tetris in order to load and unload the gear from cars 13 times, gourmet experience cooking an eclectic menu of hot meals for a distinguished clientele. Must be willing to stand around in the dark and freezing cold for ages. Please send your CV and personal statement to ImAnASS@rockymountainrunners.org.

 

RULES

  1. All idiots must work a full day on Friday, November 10th. Nick Pedatella reserves the right to perform surprise inspections to ensure that no one is sleeping or playing hookie from work.
  2. Know thy course

 

PAST RESULTS

A dozen BBA finishers:

  1. Greg ‘I have a poor memory’ Salvesen (2014, 2015*)
  2. Nick ‘How hard can it be….again’ Pedatella (2014, 2015)
  3. Ryan ‘Running sucks’ Smith (2014)
  4. Alberto ‘I should have moved to Switzerland sooner’ Rossi (2015)
  5. Ryan ‘Please tell me there will be beer’ Lassen (2015)
  6. Jon ‘100 milers are easy’ Davis (2015)
  7. Silke ‘I won’t cry on Flagstaff’ Koester (2015)
  8. John ‘FOMO is real’ Knotts* (2015)
  9. Andy ‘Please please let me finish this time‘ Gisler (2016)
  10. Andrew ‘Everyone told me it was easy’ Bainbridge (2016)
  11. Pete ‘Someone better know how to make a proper cuppa‘ Newton (2016)
  12. Karl ‘It’s casual’ Mayer (2016)

We’d be remiss if we didn’t mention the half-dozen BBA DNFs:

  1. Silke Koester (2014)
  2. Andy Gisler (2014 & 2015)
  3. Guy Love (2015)
  4. John ‘Going for an asterix free finish‘ Knotts (2016)
  5. Cordis ‘Handshake of Destiny‘ Hall (2016)
  6. Jon ‘I don’t remember agreeing to this‘ Davis (2016)

 

AWARDS & RECOGNITION

2016 Finisher Dodos:

  • Andy Gisler: The Nick Pedatella Award for Rule Enforcement
  • Pete Newton: The Alberto Rossi Recognition for Restoring Respectability to Running
  • Andrew Bainbridge: The Greg Salvesen Award for Understatement
  • Karl Mayer: The Rick Hoberg Recklessness Award for Stupidity in the Face of Adversity

2016 Enabler Award:

  • Nick Pedatella: The Mike Oliva Award for Nutritional Excellence
  • Tyler Fox: The Yves-Marie Hervault Award for Maximizing Stoke in the Absence of Experience
  • The Veggie Burgers: The Ginna Ellis Commendation for Commitment to Party
  • Carey Cuprisin: The Jon Davis Biggest Ass Award
  • Cordis Hall: The Andy Gisler Special Mention for Maximizing Misery
  • Jeff Wanner: The Handshake of Destiny

2015 Finisher Dodos:

  • Alberto Rossi: The Professor Pete’s Prize for the Pursuit of Perfection
  • Ryan Lassen: The Greg Salvesen Award for Understatement
  • Jon Davis: The Rush Combs Award for Attention to Detail
  • Silke Koester: The Andy Gisler Special Mention for Maximizing Misery
  • John Knotts: The Kea Dog Distinction for Most Creative Short Cut
  • Nick Pedatella: The Eric Lee Award for Adherence to Rule Enforcement

2015 Enabler Awards:

  • The Shaws:The Ginna Ellis Commendation for Commitment to Party
  • The Veggie Burgers: The Yves-Marie Hervault Award for Maximizing Stoke in the Absence of Experience
  • Cat Bradley: The Rick Hoberg Recklessness Award for Stupidity in the Face of Adversity
  • Cordis Hall: The Handshake of Destiny
  • Kristen Barthel: The Mike Oliva Award for Nutritional Excellence

2014 Finisher Dodos:

  • Greg Salvesen: The Summit Prolific Pooper Prize
  • Nick Pedatella: The Greg Salvesen Award for Understatement
  • Ryan Smith: The Rick Hoberg Recklessness Award for Stupidity in the Face of Adversity

2014 Enabler Awards:

  • The Shaws: The Jon Davis Biggest Ass Award
  • Ryan Lassen: The Ginna Ellis Commendation for Commitment to Party
  • Alberto Rossi: The Mike Oliva Award for Nutritional Excellence

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